mimblr.com

 The Twins had a storybook home opener, winning 3-2 over the Angels.  Their leadoff hitter, Go-Go Gomez, started the game with a double and scored on a basehit by catcher Joe Mauer.  That’s just the way excited Twins fans had written the first page in the 2008 season.  Livan Hernandez pitched seven strong innings, giving up 2 runs on 7 hits, with no walks.  Pat Neshek struck out the side in the 8th and Joe Nathan closed the door, picking up a save in the first game (and striking out Torii Hunter in the process).  Twins fans had given Hunter a standing ovation, which was nice to see, but Gomez is the new hero.  He went 2 for 3, plus a walk and 2 stolen  bases.  If he continues on the same track, he’s on his way to 324 stolen bases this season.  Eat my dust Ricky Henderson!
After cheering his team to victory, Bill Smith was elated, but he wasn’t done for the day.  Following the game, he marched to his office and went right back to work.  In a surprise move, he signed both Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens to one-year deals with a club option for 2009.  “We really want to leave the Metrodome with a bang” said Smith, “and we’re not done yet.  We had 2 openings on the 40-man roster, and this fills them nicely.”  According to Smith, the Twins have been in secret negotiations for weeks.  The private clubhouse additions for each player are nearly complete.  Bonds said that he is looking forward to playing regularly at the Hump.  “I’m looking to break all sorts of records.  I’ve never played regularly with a short porch.  I should be able to hit 80 homers and close to 100 doubles here.  My guess is that Hack Wilson’s record for RBI’s will also be in jeopardy, I think I can drive in 200 runs, depending on intentional walks.”  Bonds said, “Roger and I got together and decided we wanted out of the spotlight.  We’re a package deal, we come as a set.  We’re looking forward to playing in the Midwest and away from any controversy.”

mvn.com